Why do spiritual people get a bad rap for being ‘negative’ and what exactly does spiritual mean?

The most spiritual person I ever met was a computer programmer. She couldn’t understand why people called her spiritual but to me it was obvious. She had an amazing heart, she was conscious of how her actions affected other people and she was just ‘real’.

“Abi, I’m not into Tarot cards and crystals.” Was her reply and mine was astounded that we draw the conclusion that someone who is into mysticism is also spiritual. It’s a mistake we all make. You can have as many crystals as you want, practice yoga daily but if you’re a sucky person or a ‘spiritual narcissist’ as I like to call them then all the tarot cards and mantras in the world won’t expand your heart.

This leads me into spiritual negativity and this expectation that spiritual people are happier. Are they?

I certainly am now but my path certainly didn’t lead me into bliss at first. I’m the archetypal hippie. I did it all. Meditation and yoga retreats, travelling India, leaving my home country and I tell you what it bought me, a ton of self healing, memories and flashbacks that certainly didn’t provide a ‘blissful state.’ Real spiritual seekers are searching for the truth and the truth hurts. It’s about peeling back the layers, removing the denial and healing the pain. That is not easy.

For me it may have been slightly more challenging than the average hippie. I’m an SRS which means; Satanic Ritual Survivor leaving me with huge post traumatic stress and ‘disassociation personality disorder’, I was a train wreck and I will be writing more about that in the future. Obviously the abuse I received as a small child had implemented some really toxic patterns in my life that took an astounding amount of self healing and therapy to overcome and it was only when I went on this path that I became fully aware of how messed up I actually was.

So this is my message to those of you that ‘judge’ negative, spiritual people; when we are searching to improve ourselves, ‘staying out of the story’ and ‘avoiding labels’ is not necessarily the way forward.

I tried it for years but to clear my own karma I had to face my demons, literally head on and heal the wounds that had been imprinted in my psyche. We all have a blueprint and in order to shift it it’s actually good to know what you are dealing with; better the devil you know, excuse the pun. When you delve deep you are shedding negative energy and that energy doesn’t just magically disappear into thin air, it then filters outwards and can take time to process and transform.

Shedding means that this distorted energy is moving through your vibration and it’s possible that while it’s in your blueprint you will be attracting more of the same only this time with awareness, of which you then have the power to change it.

For vast amounts of my decade or so of self healing I would retreat after intense sessions, sometimes people didn’t see me for months because I didn’t want to inflict my torment and pain onto others; and it brings me to the point that many of my clients, friends have ‘dark nights of the soul’ when they journey into themselves. Shedding means that there are times that the ‘love and light brigade’ are the least popular people I would want to be around.

The shedding stops, your karma changes when you face your past but it could take a little time and when you are through it you have a sense of balance and peace of mind that no money can buy.

I’m still refining myself and am very aware of my ‘shedding moments’ and I urge anyone brave enough to journey into their own emotional body, the end result is worth it!

So please, know that it’s normal to be negative at times and spiritual. You can’t avoid it, we are dark and light, we all have a shadow and our shadow will lead us where we need to go in order to transcend it. Don’t allow this new age crap to tell you otherwise. Be brave, be true, be you and allow your heart to operate above your mind and notions. Personally I feel it’s best if your heart and mind make friends, that’s the best of both worlds, those guys run together really well.

Spirituality is consciousness, awakening of heart, being a better person, authenticity, anyone can be spiritual no matter what their occupation; it’s the western world that bastardized it.

You can’t avoid negativity or moving through it if you are on the path to ‘waking up’, it’s highly possible you will become more negative and have huge dark emotions during the process; it’s ok. You’re real. Your suffering is part of becoming conscious and if that is what you are doing you will be shedding at an accelerated rate. All I can say is focus on the end goal, that you are freeing yourself of stuff that has held you back for a long time and when you are free, your life transforms.

To be truly free of karma is the beginning of miracles; I should know.


Big love to you brave souls out there, you are helping to make this world a better place. xxx

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