Feminine Energy – The Return of Lilith
THERE IS A RETURN OF THE FEMININE ENERGY RIGHT NOW.
Thank fuck for that. For those of you struggling with the return of her; I’m here to let you know you are not alone. Feminine energy, her divine source is our birthright.
For women it’s especially difficult to remove through old wounds, to honour and embrace your natural essence.
Life does not give you the fucking chance. We are in a world and a system where naturally embracing your feminine energy is virtually impossible. Most women have completely shut down and stepped into their masculine because they are in survival mode.

We are in a system that does not allow the softness and the vulnerability of the feminine to shine through. A system that tempers, judges and punishes the wild, untamed side and encourages subservience, domestication.
I’m going to use me as the perfect example and I am sure that many women out there can relate to this.
As a child I was abused. Hitting children was normal in those days so violence was just accepted. I was the oldest. I became the major focus for my toxic relatives to inflict some form of emotional, physical or sexual violence on. As a child I was already shut down. It was madness to be sensitive or vulnerable so I became ‘the tough one’.
I stepped into my masculine because it was safer.
By the time I was a teenager in order to protect myself I began to rebel. At school the boys chased me, the girls got jealous. If I didn’t turn ‘tough’ I would have been eaten alive. The same was at home. My step father had an unhealthy obsession. My way to deal with it was to be the kind of kid that you stayed away from.
I got boyfriends that were big and scary, criminals and system drop outs.
I would bring them to my house so that my stepfather knew what would happen if he touched me or my sister. Sadly, I was constantly mad at my brother because he was the boy and got all the privileges and attention.
The divide between male and female had already been implemented.
I had no fear, only anger at this disgusting world that I lived in. At 16 I was thrown out of home. Asked to leave because I refused to conform; to be ‘subservient and compliant’ to my step fathers rules.
I only knew pain and violence. By the time I was in my early 20’s I was in a succession of relationships with men that were violent.
At 23 one of them tried to kill me. He was strangling me to death outside my flat when someone intervened. It was a magnificent beating. It took 6 weeks for the bruises to go down from my eyes, mouth and neck. Such was my tough exterior I wore those bruises like war wounds and was back in the pub the next night. I was used to violence. It was part of my life. I was the ultimate bad girl. Full of drugs, alcohol and ready for trouble and trouble found me everywhere I went.
This is my message.
There are so many women out there in so much pain. They have never had the opportunity to really even touch on their true feminine nature.
To be truly feminine you need to feel safe.
Growing up in a world like this sucks. Femininity has been so abused and so violated that women have had to shut down their true nature to survive. The feminine that we ‘are supposed to be’ is bombarded at us from the internet, television via media. Images of immaculate beauties with perfect breasts, teeth, hair, legs… To be feminine then plastic surgery is always available; it’s about big tits and fat lips.
Every message out there in adverts and commercials is ‘you are not good enough as you are.’
Throw that at women when they have already jumped into their masculine to protect themselves and you have a complete fabricated Barbie on steroids.
Of course there are other versions of fucked up women.
I’m just sharing mine. Every woman can relate to this on some level that’s waking up. Stepping into your true feminine is one of the most difficult things because most women haven’t got a clue what that is.

Look at the system. Women compete with men for jobs by behaving like men.
If they really behave like women then part of that is to be vulnerable. There are days because of our hormones and feminine cycle where our emotions change. We have to that shut down too because emotions are something to patronize and joke about.
It makes women in the eyes of employers and their colleagues, (male and female) weak.
To be vulnerable is to be eaten alive by vultures and the sad, tragic thing is that not only do women suffer but so do the men. This world doesn’t need a bunch of masculine pussies it needs real women and men to step the fuck up.
My journey back to my feminine came when I left the system.
I chose a seriously feminine energy country; Thailand and finally felt safe enough to drop my guard. I began to allow my emotions and heart to begin to open and feel. A life time of pain began to surface through my body. It was beyond unbearable to move through the shut downs and abuse to liberate myself from lies, trauma and conditioning.
I have Kali energy, Lilith, Mary Magdalene. I carry feminine warrior spirit.
My feminine is light and dark. It takes women with such wild power to own their souls and reshape this world. As the feminine returns we are all; male and female being called to embrace our true nature.
What we have been conditioned into thinking what is masculine or feminine is a lie.
My message to women is most of you are over masculine because ‘that is what you know’. That is what you have been manipulated into being. The other version we are drip fed is to be ‘meek and subservient’ and women have had enough of that in this patriarchal reign.
It is not your fault.
We have been out of balance so long in a masculine dominated world that the scales have tipped too far in the opposite direction. We need to come back into balance. It’s time to embrace the forbidden side of our natures; the wild one, the forbidden, the witch, the vixen. She too lives within you.
A magical woman with her wings unclipped, heart open and soul flying free is the biggest gift to this planet.
Woman was never meant to be boxed and restrained. Real men want the whole spectrum. We are in a world where we need our true selves to step up. We need to stop indulging in this ‘programmed bs’ of what a man and woman should be like.
When you discover you… you are doing the world such a huge blessing.
We need you. Love your sisters and work with them. Support them rather than competing and bitching. It’s not your fault you are the way you are. However, it is you that has the responsibility of breaking free of the lies and conditioning.

A voltage of feminine energy is sweeping this world as we begin to leave the patriarchy age.
Call it the Age of Aquarius is Lilith, wild, free, untamable and magical. She is calling for Men and Women to embrace her and move away from this masculine vibration. This programmed indoctrination of ‘God made Eve for Adam because Adam was lonely’. Really?
When the heart opens, it hurts. Sometimes it feels like it’s about to ripped from your chest but you can handle it because you are woman.
You have a body that can give birth to life, emotions as powerful as the weather. You are Mother Nature and the feminine is coming back into this world whether you like it or not. Discover who you are and let her birth herself with grace.
It’s much more fun being a woman than trying to prove your worth by being masculine and competing with men.
I hear a lot of women say ‘men are pussies’ and they don’t step up. If you’ve already taken the masculine role what do you think is going to happen?
I for one crave a man that is authentic in his masculinity and knows how to operate in this world from that space.
I want to be with a man that bewitches my feminine side. The alchemy of man and woman together then becomes a dance. I have no fight or competition with men.
I am a woman and I call åback my power and right to be everything she is.
Heart, soul, compassion, wild, free, authentic, fierce, sweet, mystical, emotional and vulnerable.
That is my choice. Nobody or false systems can take that away from me. I’m here to stay and my truth is to embrace Lilith in all her unmet magic and birth her back into this world.
I’m sure there are a few sisters out there that feel the same way. You think?

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Beautiful article Abi. I absolutely feel the same way. And I am waiting for a man to match my feminine energy with his masculine non macho loving presence.
So true! And the more of us who come out as a witch, bitch, badass, healer, sacred, divine, mystic, see-through-the-bullshit Kali, luscious Lilith – who said ‘fuck off’ to Adam when he wanted to control her – missionary style, and then was demonized through all space and time for her audacity to actually want to be a woman with desire. I often wonder if she was the snake warning Eve. Your rawness resonates, as does your story of abuse, addiction, fear, pain, freemasonry, sociopathic father, trauma. And what I know is this – there is a third way – owning our shit and calling out on the unspeakable. No more silence, no matter what. Sending love because your story is not so very different from mine. Thank you for paving the way and shining a light. xo, j
I love your work sister! Thank you for the effort to put your message into words for me to read it.
And to put it into straight words! I like that.
For sure, We Are The Goddess.