Guilt. Introducing one of our most debilitating emotions if not treated and remedied quickly… Managing the emotion of guilt is a skillful navigation of keeping your center.
Guilt sucks. It is especially common in women as women are predisposed to sacrificing themselves and their needs for relationships and family… Whilst men tend feel it when they are unable to keep their lovers/family/peers happy. It’s a heavy emotion that saps the soul and indulges in thoughts such as: ‘If only I’d….’, ‘I should of…’, ‘I wish I could of…’
Male or female, we’ve all been there. Guilt jumps in with this feeling of dread, shame, regret and mortification. Guilt stifles strangles and suffocates. It doesn’t serve you and it doesn’t serve the situation you are guilty about because it is a low vibration emotion. Low vibrating emotions that attract equally low vibrating recipients such as judgment, outrage and blame from the ‘injured party’.
Guilt Attracts Blame
Guilt attracts Blame
If you blame yourself then others will fall into the pattern and blame you too!!!
For example, due to a miscommunication I once missed the family boxing day Skype call. Unbeknown to me my mother had diligently set up the computer and a rather large assortment of relatives were collectively available and waiting. I didn’t receive the message and by the time I called it was only my mum online. She wasn’t impressed. My mum expressed her disappointment in a rather ‘extreme’ way, and insinuated that her entire day had been ruined and it was all my fault. In the past I would have felt extremely guilty which would have led to me trying to defend my absence. Then we would have got into a fight.
However, I refused to drop into the pattern and instead of sinking into the ‘blame and shame’ I calmly apologized for the mistake and drew the attention to the emails that hadn’t appeared in my inbox. I then laughed and told my mum that I would call everyone individually because maybe I needed to catch up with them separately and asked her again how her day was. All of a sudden my mum had a wonderful day and was full of stories of how well it went. It was like a magic wand had been waved over the entire event and it had completely changed… We ended that call very happy and I professed to check my emails a little more regularly and mum went off to see if she had the right email…
Beat the Blame Game
Beat the Guilt Game
That is how you beat the ‘guilt’ game… You just don’t play it in the first place.
This is how I handle guilt when it rears its head in my life:
- Guilt is a message.
- Something within you is out of alignment.
- Guilt shows you that you have a conscience.
- Don’t ignore it!!! Listen to it.
I chose to be more committed to my family’s get together, apologized for not being available and called my relatives for a catch up. That gave me the knowledge that I had dealt with a ‘potential’ guilt predicament.
Find the cause…
Guilt, find the Cause
When we feel guilty it can be because we need to adjust something within us to bring us back to balance.
So check within!!! What can you do to harness this emotion? How do you restore harmony?
So thank you guilty feeling for inspiring me to become a better person, to be open to accountability, to push me to make better decisions in my life and to step up as a woman. I choose to hear you, listen to your message and make the right decision for me to enable my conscience to find peace, balance and inner alignment. And it does get easier and easier once you recognize the signs. Be aware of the signals and pay attention to your actions and then this emotion is actually not such a bad thing.
Healthy emotions are about allowing them to flow through you in any given moment. To love your body is to love its way of expressing itself to you, guilt is just another message trying to nudge you in the right direction. That’s your emotional barometer.
Emotions are cool when you have the tools to manage them.
Bye for now…
